Taken 2: Movie Review

 

Taken was like a rare dish served in a respective restaurant cooked by a prestigious chef. You enjoyed it a lot and there were few complaints but, it was so good that you overlooked the minor flaws. The dish went down to your stomach where digestive juices started attacking it to break down the delicious dish for nutrients. The dish then travelled through your small intestines where it’s further broken down to individual molecules and absorbed directly to your blood stream. Taken 2 on the other hand is the remains of that dish pushed up and around the large intestines and exiting from your anus.

I was excited to see Liam Neeson return to his kickass dad role and do what he did so suavely and almost nonchalantly in the first movie: take no names and kick some unknown gang member’s ass. However, this movie had me greatly disappointed. The movie tried its very best; it had a great premise in that the family of the gangsters from the first movie comes to Istanbul to take revenge on Bryan Mills (Neeson) for killing fathers, husbands, brothers and sons. But sadly that’s the furthest the movie went with this great plot point. The antagonists were very generic, they were horribly unoriginal, and were Muslims which I’m assuming made it easy for us to hate.

This wasn’t a huge issue in the first movie where the antagonist were also Muslim, but the movie didn’t take every moment to remind us that. It hinted it, and I respected it for that. It was just happened to be a gang of Albanian kidnapers and that’s all they had to say. Rest was just history. Liam Neeson kicked some ass, shot and tortured some goons, and I was a happy camper. Taken 2 on the other hand wanted us to know that these guys are maleficent and they are Muslims and the good American hero is out there fighting on their turf to defend his family. I would have over looked this, if only the movie was even remotely as good as the first one. The antagonists seem smart at the beginning of the movie but they quickly became your generic brand hired thugs that can’t shoot, and do everything haphazardly. They were very easy to kill and showed very little to no intelligence. Just a side note; why in God’s name the Albanian gangsters in Turkey talking to each other in English? It boggled my mind how stupid this movie got at points.

The fight scenes were absolutely horrendous, and were grossly edited. There wasn’t a single sequence of continuous fighting. The camera was shaky and you would only get to see a bit of a fight scene because of heavy editing. Apparently they didn’t have a good enough budget to hire a fight coordinator but they had enough money to hire a stunt driver to show off amazing driving skills through the narrow streets of Istanbul of a girl who failed her driver’s test twice.

Liam it seems was trying his best, but the movie was so bad that only his performance from Schindler’s list would be able to save this pile of excrement. His co-stars didn’t really shine either. That’s all I have to say about it. Any further details are irrelevant because it so bad I have nothing to say. Their acting was just awful. Both the wife and daughter played by Famke Jenssen and Maggie Grace, were just there as an eyesore. They didn’t really add anything to the movie they didn’t provide any added excitement, and it was a good reason to only show them for first few minutes of the first movie.

This movie would have been so much better if the bad guys had some depth, if it had some decent fight scenes and much less screen time for the leading ladies. I say don’t waste your time go watch The Raid Redemption instead. 

 And as always special thanks to Ammad Wajahat.

Let the Right One In vs Twilight: Comparative Review

 

You know, I never thought I would say this about a vampire love story but I loved it! I had the pleasure of finally watching Let the Right one In, and I decided to do my second review about this brilliant movie. It is so refreshing to see a movie doing vampires right cuz Let the right one In has let in the right formula. It is a love story, yet it doesn’t forget what it’s about: Vampires. The movie explores the young love of two 12-year-olds: Oskar who is bullied at school and Eli an eternal new girl on the block who harbors a deep and dark secret.

Tomas Alfredsson has directed the movie, and John Ajvide Lindquist, who also wrote the screenplay, bases it on his 2004 novel of the same title. Now that’s a good thing, I mean; who knows the book better than the author right? The movie was shot beautifully; and more poignantly there wasn’t a scene in the movie that felt forced or unnecessary unlike other movies in this genre. The atmosphere and the music complement each other, setting a perfect mood for a horror movie. Although it is a horror movie I didn’t find the movie to be overly scary or gut wrenching although a few scenes did leave me cringing. It suffices to say that the movie gets it swagger from the director, the actors and a strong plotline that keeps you intrigued.

What is the most important element of a movie you might ask? In my point of view it is the powerful acting. A movie can have the best effects (Transformers) but if the acting isn’t convincing it’s not worth watching to me. This movie revolves around 2 young children Oskar and Eli played by Kåre Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson respectively, and I have to say that they did a brilliant job especially for such young and precocious talents. Kåre’s portrayal of Oskar makes you believe that this child is borderline psychotic and just one more beat-down away from a school-shooting job. Lina excels in her role as a vampire who is stuck in the body of a 12-year-old girl for eternity. Although she was probably hundreds of years old, her mentality was still that of a 12 year child. The supporting cast also did a wonderful job; the antagonists weren’t some werewolves or vampire hunters out to get Eli and Oskar. They just were regular school bullies making Oskar’s life a living hell. That has the effect of making us relate to these loathsome bullies and allows the movie to be as realistic as fiction can be.

I was never a huge fan of vampires, and Twilight made sure I loathed them, but Let the Right One In, reminded me that vampires are ok. It is hard not to compare this movie to Twilight. Both focus on young and forbidden love. However Oskar and Eli’s relationship was far more believable and exotic than that of dare I say it ‘Edward and Bella’. In a nutshell, everything about this movie was better than Twilight: Story, music, direction, cinematography and most noticeably acting. What I appreciated the most is that this movie stayed true to vampire folklore. 

I strongly believe that movies in the fictional genre need to stay true to the original lore and mannerisms of a fictional monstrosity. As with everything, creative innovations and tweaks keep the interest in them piqued but they shouldn’t violate the original integrity so vehemently as Twilight has.  A prudent example of what I mean is:  ‘Daybreakers’; a refreshingly revolutionary movie that takes the vampire genre to previously uncharted territory without betraying the essence of Vampirism. Indulging in verbal and visual diarrhea like sparkling vampires who claim, “This is the skin of a killer” infuriates me and insults the very mythology of the dark terrors that Vampires were meant to be. It is akin to making a movie where humans morph into were-wolves at the break of dawn (no pun intended). Let the Right One In presents a wonderful love story that is coffin-wrapped in the grace and charm of Vampirism (pun intended). They don’t twinkle like glitter in sunlight they BURN and fizzle. It’s vampire 101 people! And if you know anything about the vampire folklore you would appreciate the title even more. Each time a vampire would stand outside the door I would chuckle a little (If you know your friendly neighborhood vampire you know why). 

I really enjoyed watching this movie, I know the fact that it’s in Swedish can be off-putting for some and there is an American version of it (What movie doesn’t have an American version these days) I’d still highly recommend watching the original. The movie is broodingly noir, yet heartwarming, and thankfully there are no vegetarian vampires who cry and mope about how it sucks to be a vampire. 

It’s saddens me to see that this movie came out the same year that Twilight did. While practically no one knows that this amazing movie exists, the rat dropping of a movie Twilight has had 4 sequels and made over a billion of dollars. There is no respect for true cinema anymore as the cash cows are allowed to graze on young, immature minds. To add insult to injury, actors like Kristen Stewart are getting paid millions and receiving “awards” for being emotionally monotonous while dazzling child actors like Kåre Hedebrant and Lina Leandersson may never get the recognition they deserve. 

My final thoughts are a little dark but need to be said. Stephanie Meyer has made a mockery of a great folk legend. She has single handedly destroyed the “badassness” of vampires. No longer are vampires perceived as seductive cold-blooded killers instead they are very emo, whiny rich kids. My suggestion is that everyone involved in this abomination; from the author to the actors, producers, studio execs and the director do us a favor by committing Hara-kiri in public for insulting our intellect and for dishonoring Vampirism. 

Written by Umer Farooq and Ammad Wajahat

A simple request for Hollywood

Dear Hollywood,

Whenever you show a Muslim country why is there always Athan (call to prayer) in the back ground? Either your characters always conveniently show up exactly at one of the 5 (AND ONLY 5!!) times we hear the call to prayer, or you think we the audience are stupid. Please give us the benefit of the doubt, we know that Iraq, Palestine, Egypt, and Morocco are Muslim countries. We don't hear the church bells every time you show Brazil, or Italy, Spain or other catholic countries. Please respect our intelligence, and stop showing the Muslim call to prayer as some billboard top 100 song, loved and always played by every Muslim mosque in every Muslim country.

Sincerely yours,

The Cineophant

My Picks for 2011 Academy Awards

2011 wasn’t the best year for movies in my opinion, and there are movies/actors who I think should be on this list but I am going to try to keep this one short and just present my choices for the 2011 winners. Mercifully for you, I am also not going to blather on about all the awards; I’ll keep it to acting, directing and the best movie. I am new to this so I don’t have the credentials to talk about cinematography, editing, sound editing and other technical aspect that goes in making a movie great.  

Best Supporting Actor

Jonah Hill	Moneyball
Kenneth Branagh	My Week with Marilyn
Nick Nolte	The Warrior
Christopher Plummer	Beginners
Max von Sydow	Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

It was tough deciding which actor I think deserves the Oscar. I enjoyed Max von Sydow, and Jonah Hill’s performances but I just didn’t really feel any emotional connection with their characters. It was a battle between Nick Nolte and Christopher Plummer and I believe Christopher Plummer did a fantastic job as an elderly man coming out of the closet. Chalk one up for the True North!

Best Supporting Actress

I have to say, that I enjoyed Bridesmaids a lot more than I thought I would and Melissa McCarthy rightfully deserves a nomination for her hysterical portrayal of the bride’s sister-in-law. All the other performances were good but as it turns out it’s the poop humor that gets me in the end. I believe Octavia Spencer deserves an Oscar for her Awesome Poop pie. But all jokes aside I was very impressed by her performances and I was cheering for her all the way to the end.

Bérénice Bejo	The Artist
Jessica Chastain	The Help
Octavia Spencer	The Help
Melissa McCarthy	Bridesmaids
Janet McTeer	Albert Nobbs

Best Actor

I would like to point out that I don’t think Jean Dujardin should be on this list. Although I loved the homage to the silent film era, acting requires a lot more than just actions. If Jean Dujardain deserves recognition for his acting where he did not talk I strongly believe Andy Serkis also deserves recognition for his amazing performance as Cesar in Rise of the Apes. As a matter of fact if Serkis was nominated, he’d be the guy I’d root for to win. Personal preferences apart, I think this award belongs to George Clooney for his role as a grief-stricken husband who must deal maturely with his wife’s death and her infidelity, while juggling the role of a harried dad. You wont hear this often but ‘The Descendants’ is the stage where Clooney unravels the full range of his brilliance and the Golden statue is just reward me thinks!

George Clooney	The Descendants
Jean Dujardin	The Artist
Brad Pitt	Moneyball
Gary Oldman	Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy
Demián Bichir	A Better Life

Best Actress

I didn’t think Meryl Streep’s performance was so impressive that she is sweeping all the awards, and as for Viola Davis I loved her acting but I don’t think it deserves an Oscar. I actually believe that she deserved the Oscar for ‘Doubt’; a movie in which Meryl Streep also starred. I loved both of both of them in that movie and I was rooting for them but this year both the actresses fall just a little short in my point of view. At first my heart was keen on choosing Rooney Mara for her role as a socially awkward and rebellious super detective but then I saw Glenn Close in Albert Nobbs. I have to say she deserves to win and a lot of people are overlooking her performance and picking Viola Davis. Maybe I am wrong but it feels a lot like a race and representation thing rather than that of merit.  

Viola Davis	The Help
Rooney Mara	The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo
Meryl Streep	Iron Lady
Michelle Williams	My Week with Marilyn
Glenn Close	Albert Nobbs

Best Director

I have to say all these directors did an amazing job even Michel Hazanavicius for The Artist. I loved The Descendants, but I won’t be picking Alexander Payne for the best Director. As for Hugo I saw it when it came out on DVD last week and I heard the real appeal of the movie was the amazing use of 3D. I liked the movie but I didn’t think it was that impressive. Perhaps if I saw it in the theaters in 3D I would have a different point of view. Having said that, I believe Woody Allen deserves the Oscar for Midnight in Paris. I was skeptical of this movie as I am not a huge fan of Mr. Allen. It was different, it was well acted, and Woody used the Parisian scenery and it’s rich artistic history to near perfection. 

Terrence Malick	The Tree of Life
Alexander Payne	The Descendants
Michel Hazanavicius	The Artist
Woody Allen	Midnight in Paris
Martin Scorsese	Hugo

Best Picture

Deciding on best picture was also tough for me. My top three picks are The Descendants, War Horse and Midnight in Paris. If any of these movies win the Oscar I’d call myself a happy camper. My no-no’s here are The Artist, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, and The Tree of Life. I don’t think The Artist was such an amazing movie that it deserves an Oscar. As for Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close I don’t even know why this movie is in this list at all. I can’t help but think it’s only there because of the sensitive subject of 9/11 and I think that is just disappointing because this movie really sucks. 

As for my choice for best picture I have to go with The Descendants. It was a tough call between War Horse and The Descendants, but in the end I have to say I just enjoyed The Descendants a little more maybe because it relates to the lives of those around me in the West. 

 

The Descendants	Jim Burke, Jim Taylor, and Alexander Payne
The Help	Brunson Green, Chris Columbus, and Michael Barnathan
Moneyball	Michael De Luca, Rachael Horovitz, and Brad Pitt
The Tree of Life	Dede Gardner, Sarah Green, Grant Hill, and Bill Pohlad
War Horse	Steven Spielberg and Kathleen Kennedy
The Artist	Thomas Langmann
Midnight in Paris	Letty Aronson and  Stephen Tenenbaum
Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close	Scott Rudin
Hugo	Graham King and  Martin Scorsese