Inescapable: Movie Review

Move over Liem Neeson, we've got an Arab action dad to idolize…. Well sort of.

Inescapable follows Adib Abdel Kareem (Alexander Siddig) a mild-mannered Canadian-Arab with a shady past who has to return to Syria to rescue his daughter after he finds out that she has been kidnapped in Damascus. His past is inescapable, fortunately this movie is.

I really, really wanted to like this movie. I mean how often do you get a non-white action hero? Well sure, sometimes you have Black or Latino heroes, and yeah even Asians, but who would have thought that Arabs would join the ranks of disgruntled middle-aged action heroes with questionable pasts.

Unfortunately, Inescapable is a bad movie and there are no two ways about it. Bad acting, bad pacing, quasi-interesting story line that was poo-pooed with unnecessary plot twists, and overuse of ominous music to create sense of danger when there was no need for it, and god awful action scenes. Speaking of action, you would think an action movie would have some action in it right? Well Inescapable is the diplomatic action movie. Don’t beat your way through the bad guys you call the bureaucrats.

I’d say the only few good things about this movie is that it’s 1 hour and 30 minutes and Marisa Tome was the saving grace. She’s a good actress and was wasted in this movie. Lastly Alexander Siddig is sort of a believable action hero. He’s tall, looks in shape, and the man can paint a mean mug.

If this movie is so bad, then why should you be watching it? Well for starters it’s the only one of its kind. Not an action film mind you; an Arab action film. As awful as this movie is I’d still say check it out. It’s not very long and is a welcoming take on Arabs. Arabs are always portrayed in Hollywood as either terrorists or extremely apologetic for being Arab/Muslim. They’re either blowing up stuff or apologizing and defending Islamic/Arab culture. So there was no question in my mind that I would watch this movie even though you could tell from the trailers that it’s a 'Taken' clone. 

And lastly and most importantly if we don’t support movies like these they won’t make any more of them. Money talks, pure and simple, so to potentially see better action movies with maybe younger heroes we need to start supporting movies like Inescapable.

Inescapable gets a high Cineophantic recommendation.

'Reel' Entourage

Your movie going experience can vary dramatically depending on who you go with. Your friends can make or break a movie for you, so choosing the right friend is like choosing to cut the red wire or the blue wire. Choose the wrong one and BOOM it can all blow up in your face.

The “easily excited” friend:

 
He probably has ADD which would explain why he enjoyed The Transformers movies so much. This friend is the simplest of the bunch, easily excited by big explosions, fart jokes, and boobies. He will tell you the Three Stooges is the funniest and greatest movie ever made only to tell you a week later that no, Battleship is the greatest movie ever made. His simplicity is highly infectious; you forget your movie snobbery and enjoy a movie that you couldn't dream of enjoying on your own. Consequently his contagious exuberance means that you sometimes end up liking movies that are so stupid that when you tell your family and friends they come very close to breaking all ties with you. 

The “know it all” friend:

First of all he always refers to movies as films, which really annoys you. You're not in Europe man, you've never been, so quit it. Second he will turn every moving going experience into a Film 101 lecture. Here you thought you came out to enjoy a nice movie with a bunch friends when out of nowhere you're bombarded with useless movie trivia that will never benefit you in any situation. Oh that scene was shot in Greece during the riots, Katy Perry’s real name is Kate Hudson. Thanks for pointing out that the gratuitous use of CGI is somehow ruining the integrity of film making. The rape scene in the original Swedish The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo felt more real….. Wait what!?

He will always make you question your choices and telling him how much you enjoyed Man of Steel is suicide.  But every time you find out that you've seen an indie movie that he hasn't, you perk up and make sure to rub it in face.

The “my way or the highway” friend:
 

This is the friend who will always get what he wants. You want to watch that exciting new political thriller but somehow he convinces you to watch some sappy romantic comedy. You were sure that this time it will be different, you will stand your ground and fight for your movie; you prepared a script, practiced in front of a mirror and held several debates on said topic which you successfully won. Yet somehow you end up in some weepy Rachel McAdams romantic drama that makes you want to shoot your face.  Consequently in that rare moment when your friend does up pick a great movie, you're too busy raging and plotting your next scheme to convince him to watch the movie you want to watch that you miss out on a potential gem.

 The “you” friend:

This guy is a carbon copy of you but somehow much better looking and probably more successful. You've known him for the longest time, you enjoy the same type of movies, shows, games, and you sometimes finish each other's sentences, which really freaks people out specially your parents. As much as you love this guy watching movies with him is no challenge at all. You get no movie stimulation because everything you say he'll agree with, which is why you love him. But seriously, how can you both come to the same conclusion at the end of Inception? That's a little weird bro.

The “Illuminati” friend:

This is the friend who will somehow link every movie to the infamous Illuminati. “The Dark Knight is clearly a movie made by the Illuminati bro, did you see The Joker? He was obviously a manifestation of Illuminati cult, and how they don't care about the money and they just wants to see the world burn.”  “Bro Monster Inc. is the biggest Illuminati ploy ever devised; Mike Wazowski the big one eyed monster and monopoly over electricity? How are you not seeing the Illuminati connection here?  You're totally blind for not seeing that.” 

You don't take this friend seriously but his crazy Illuminati connections are so entertaining that you just have to invite him to every movie you watch only to see how he links the two together.